I’m doing it wrong: heavy bondage

So apparently I do things that are “wrong” and “bad.” I guess that makes me “dangerous.” I have read several posts and comments lately that have reminded me just how what I do and the things that excite me and how I choose to do them are frowned upon in the general bdsm community. I understand that the things I do (well, some of them at any rate) aren’t for everyone. But I do admit to a certain frustration when I keep hearing the same things over and over from people who seem quite self-congratulatory on their superior moral ground. If a particular thing isn’t for any given individual, then they shouldn’t do it. But that isn’t really a good reason to pat yourself on the back. And furthermore, I’d say that we all need to continuously re-evaluate our stance on things as science, medicine, and better data makes things more clear. Even the improvement of technology has made a huge difference in how I play. Sometimes, it’s made something possible that I wouldn’t have ever considered before.

I like bondage. Heavy bondage. The kind that is basically or actually immobilizing. Luckily, my husband does as well. In addition, he had always had a fantasy of being left in heavy bondage while his Mistress went off and did something (or someone) else. Common wisdom from the bdsm masses is that you NEVER EVER leave a bound submissive unattended. EVER!!! Especially not if he’s gagged. It’s too dangerous and you’re an irresponsible dangerous dominant to even suggest such a thing…

Except I do it all the time. I’ve probably done it 15 or so times in the past year. And I plan to keep doing it. In fact, I enjoy it. Is it more risky than if I were to stay in the room or leave him unbound and just tell him to lay on the bed and not move? Yes it is. I acknowledge that it is more risky. Add in the gag and it’s even more risky. How do I feel comfortable doing this while still having a care for my submissive? A squeaky toy and 2 computers. I can leave the room because technology allows for things like webcams and skype. I can observe him from any room in the house. I can tell if he is still breathing or if he is moving around. And because of the chains and metal, if he starts moving, struggling, or thrashing, I hear it. He also gets a dog’s squeaky toy to squeeze if he needs my immediate attention. I don’t expect it to be 100% foolproof. Nothing is. But those things put it within my comfort zone. I’ve also chained someone naked to the leg of a bed in a hotel room then left the room entirely. In order to put it within my comfort zone, I did a few things. I left all the clothing out of reach, but still in the room. I took a candle with me to the hotel and melted the lock key to the table so the submissive could get free in the case of emergency, but it would be completely obvious if the key had been disturbed. Once again, probably not 100% foolproof. But it does work for me. My husband is even alive and well! Shocking. With as many times as I’ve left him unattended in heavy bondage and a GAG, he should surely be dead by now… curious.

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