Thoughts on play

It has been too long since I’ve been able to play. Whenever I have a really great scene that reminds me of how powerful it is to me, I crave it more. It’s been a few weeks. That’s all. But I feel the urge to be greater than myself. To be connected to the rest of the world. And more importantly, to be connected to someone I love. I need to bind him and hurt him. I love how using him and chaining him down sets him free. It sets us both free really. I’m never more myself than when I’m hurting him. I suspect he’s never more himself than when he’s freely giving himself to me. He doesn’t ask me to take it. That’s good since it’s not my game. I want him to give himself to me. When he allows me the freedom to be who I am and do the things I love to do, we both feel so much better. When he fights me or tries to direct, neither of us ends up happy with the results. I know it’s a struggle for him. So I appreciate it when he can just let go and let me fly. I want that feeling again. I think it must be better than any drug. I suppose I really don’t have a frame of reference, but I suspect it’s true. At least for me. He’s going to be here soon. I can hardly wait! He’s even offered me something I know he has a difficult time with. And he’s been wearing his chastity device while he’s away. I was so happy when he told me that I was practically beside myself. He’s really going out of his way to try to make me happy and give me what I have been asking for. I’m inspired to hurt him in all the ways we both love. I want to wrap him up and do beautiful, painful, sexy things to him. Just a few more days. I can wait.

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