Wherein I’m a Completely Unsympathetic Bitch: Latex Fetish

I am a latex fetishist. Believe me, sometimes I wish I weren’t. For one thing, it’s expensive. It’s also hard to find and a real pain in the posterior to take care of. But I can’t help what turns me on. And latex does. I love to wear it. I love to see others wearing it. However, lately I can’t go to some of my favorite haunts because they decided to ban latex. And it’s really pissing me off. 

Now I understand that some people are allergic to latex. I feel for them! I have no idea what I’d do if I were allergic to latex. I’d be crushed. And allergies in general are not something I like either. I have a few food allergies that could kill me. So I certainly understand. However, I really don’t expect party hosts to ban those foods due to my own personal issue. Because I’m allergic to a food, it can’t be in the house? Ridiculous. If there is food at a party that I’m unsure of, I simply don’t eat it. No need to ban things. We’re all adults and are perfectly capable of avoiding things that we’re allergic to. If we couldn’t we’d be either housebound or deceased. When I wear latex, I’m extra careful not to touch anyone before I find out if they have an allergy or even a sensitivity to my latex. I sit on a towel so nobody has to sit on my latex particulates (thought you really shouldn’t be sitting on something naked, it is rude and unsanitary) and expose their butt to a potential allergen. And if I know it’s going to be an overcrowded party, I minimize the latex to minimize the risk of accidental contact.

I’m probably being much more cautious than I need to be.

Here are a few facts about latex and latex allergies.

The vast majority of people with latex allergies (other than people who work in the rubber industry itself) are in the medical community. They developed allergies due to daily exposure to latex via gloves (containing cornstarch, which has been linked to causing latex allergies) and medical supplies. Though there are others who do have latex allergies, it’s not nearly as common and usually much less severe.

The most common ways to spur a reaction is via direct contact. That’s why I always ask before I touch someone. I don’t want to cause a rash or worse just from giving a friend a hug. You can also inhale latex particles and spur a reaction. This has been documented in people in the medical community when the particulate-laden cornstarch in gloves becomes airborne from snapping it during putting it on or taking it off. It has also been documented from things like blowing up balloons. 

Here are a few things that contain latex/rubber that you might not have considered to be potential allergens:

  • shoes & boots (rubber soles)
  • the tires on your car
  • elastic in clothing such as waistbands and socks
  • the eraser on your pencil
  • the stopper for your sink
  • sanitary napkins
  • your mouse pad
  • the grip on your pen or toothbrush
  • the buttons on your remote controllers
  • your carpet
  • bandaids and anything containing adhesive
  • craft supplies such as glue and paste
  • garden hoses

And that’s not even mentioning things we all expect like… condoms and those big yellow gloves you use to wash your dishes. Why do I mention all this? Well first, I think it’s always good to have more information rather than less. And also…

I fucking call bullshit.

If you are wandering around that party I can’t wear my latex gloves at in those sexy panties (with the rubber in the elastic bands) and I saw you walk in with your sneakers on (rubber soles) and knee socks (rubber in them too) before you got changed for the evening… and you got here in a car (tires, tires everywhere)… and there are all sorts of other things containing latex in the house like the carpet you are laying on naked (carpet, who knew?) that are not causing you to have a reaction…

Then you’re not going to die of anaphylactic shock if my latex-clad ass is in the same house as you are. I just won’t hug you.

I understand severe allergies. I have them. The husband has some too. We carry epipens. But you, my dramatic friend, just want to stir up shit and get attention for something. Anything. It’s a great big pile of fresh, hot, steaming bullshit. I even see the swish of the bull’s tail as it’s walking out of the room. Oh look, there it goes!

It’s not the first time you’ve been dramatic or attention-seeking. By the way… that latex-free party house? Full of latex. I’ve seen latex condoms both in use and in trash cans. Several of the “house toys” are made of rubber &/or have rubber grips. There are several rubber hoods and masks. I know because, as a latex fetishist, I’ve used them. And they were still in the house the last time my non-latex-clad ass went to a party there. So if you’re not dead yet, I think I should be fine wearing my latex. I’ll just avoid you. At this point, I don’t think that would be a tragedy.

 

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