Musings on my relationships

I think that being in a relationship with me is difficult. There are a few things that, societally speaking, are going to be stacked against people who want to be with me. I think it takes a strong person.

I’m fat & middle aged. Now by saying this, I don’t mean I’m ugly or gross or slovenly or many other things people seem to associate with the word “fat.” I’m an attractive woman. But society is not kind to fat people. It’s especially unkind to fat women. And given my preference for younger and thinner/athletic men… well, society (read: your bff, your family, your boss) doesn’t always understand why a younger and muscular attractive man would choose to be with an older fat woman. They are very likely to question your choice. Perhaps even in a very pushy or belittling way. Plus I’m a married older fat woman. That’s another thing stacked against the men in my life. The family/friends/boss probably won’t understand why a husband would “let” his wife see another man. And the family/friends/boss of “the other man” might well judge him very harshly for being a “homewrecker” whether that is true or not! Then you add in that I’m dominant and sadistic. So the men in my life are going to have to give up some authority to me, where society usually expects the men to be in charge. And they may well end up hiding marks on their bodies. So when people can’t quite hack it being with me, I can really understand. It’s a lot to overcome. It requires someone who either doesn’t care what anyone else thinks (much more rare than one might think) &/or someone who has a whole lot of self-confidence.

That being said, for the right people, I’m really worth it.

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5 responses to “Musings on my relationships

  1. “…for the right people, I’m really worth it.”

    Yes! Me too.

    Ferns

    • : sideways glance at Ferns :
      I have seen your pictures and you are very definitely not fat. But I can agree that you are worth it!

      • I have seen your pictures and you are very definitely not fat.

        Ha! I wasn’t thinking about that aspect specifically, I was thinking more about all the ways in which being in a relationship with me is difficult. Some people are ‘easy’ to be in a relationship with: I don’t think I’m one of them.

        But I can agree that you are worth it!

        *smile* Thank you!

        Ferns

  2. ” I’m an attractive woman. But society is not kind to fat people. It’s especially unkind to fat women. And given my preference for younger and thinner/athletic men… well, society (read: your bff, your family, your boss) doesn’t always understand why a younger and muscular attractive man would choose to be with an older fat woman.”

    I can so relate to this!!! I am working on my property project to improve my body but I am overweight. I am not ugly or anything but I am overweight and I am attracted to women who are physically fit most of the time. Not only do I get a lot of ridicule for this but also the people I end up with also get ridiculed for this.

    I especially love your last statement that you are worth it!!

    Respectfully,
    Mysticlez

    • The husband’s family is especially lacking in understanding of how our relationship works. Luckily, he doesn’t necessarily respect their opinion on things. They are also racist and less than supportive of anyone with mental illness (though they run very rampant in his family). So he takes their opinions with basically the entire Utah salt flats. And he knows I’m pretty militant about not losing weight. So if there comes a time when outside opinions are too much for him, he ceases to find me beautiful, or for any other reason he wants me to lose weight, he knows where the door is. So far, it hasn’t been too much of an issue. But I also recognize that for many MANY people, it’s a giant issue. Pun intended! 🙂

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