This is my life: being ill

It’s very late tonight. Or it’s very early in the morning. I’ve had a challenging week. And the only bright spots in it have been you. Both of you have given me your time and attention. You have made me laugh and smile. I find myself appreciating the time you took making sure I didn’t have a completely miserable week. You both mean so much to me in your own ways. I appreciate that you are both willing to take time to make me smile. To be silly with me. I’m so rarely silly. I need that in my life. And I am also strangely glad neither of you is here right now. Though I wouldn’t throw you out if you were here. I don’t like people seeing me while I’m sick or ill. My nose is running. I’m coughing. And I’m rather grumpy. I’m existing on cough drops and echinacea tea. It’s really not the image I want locked in my lovers’ heads. I want them to see me as sexy and strong. Snot running down my face as I am searching in vain for one last tissue is decidedly un-sexy. That being said, I know the husband is an incredibly giving and patient nurse. He has certainly seen me at my worst. He’s still here. I know he can handle my supersonic sneezing and whinging about how much my nose hurts. The raven, I don’t know how well he would handle the reality of a sick dominant. But I suppose that at some point, I’d like to find out.

In any case, right now I feel cared for even though neither of them is physically here. And I’m feeling lucky to be me.

Edited to add: Several posts ago, I believe I mentioned that I might want to fall in love again. Turns out I have. With the husband.


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