New year’s resolutions, sorta

Over the holidays, my mother asked me where I’d live if I could live anywhere. And really, I didn’t have an answer for her. There are places I would rather live because the cost of living is so good. There are places I’d like to live because they would afford me easy access to experiencing different cultures. There are places I’d love to live because the weather is grand. Sadly, there is very little overlap in these categories. Not to mention I would hate to live anywhere that my kinks weren’t acceptable.

So in a perfect world, I’d love to live in a place where the cost of living was fantastic, the weather was warm, I could travel to different places easily, and I could be my normal kinky self. Or perhaps I just need to be independently wealthy so the travel and cost of living wouldn’t be much of an issue. Then I could build my very own kink compound where I could have events, parties, classes, and play to my own heart’s content!

In addition to that, she asked me what my goal in life is. I told her my goal is to be happy. She gave me the funniest look. Then announced her goal was to cure world hunger. Now I’m happy she has a goal that works for her. But why isn’t being happy a “good enough” goal? So many people are NOT happy. At. All. And many more are only happy periodically. I know very few people who are happy most of the time. So I think my goal is a really good one! I may not bring about the end of poverty or hunger in the world. I may not cause world peace. But I’m happy. Most of the time. And I think that’s really important in the world today. I wish more people were happy. And along the vein of “Be the change you want to create,” I’m being happy. I think that is good on a personal level, and also I hope to model that out in the world. It’s possible to be happy. Most of the time. It looks a little different on everyone. But this is my life and my goal. I feel successful in life when I am actively working to maintain my happiness.

And if that is not a good enough goal for anyone, well it really doesn’t matter. They can fight my mom for the honor of curing world hunger. And when one of them does, I’ll be happy for them.


6 responses to “New year’s resolutions, sorta

  1. I didn’t want to be a jerk to your mom, so I deleted a really long comment.

    Suffice it to say that unless curing world hunger is something she actually has the power to do, it’s less a goal and more like wishful thinking (or you know, delusion). Like bringing about world peace.

    “Research ethical charities and contribute 10% of my income to one that dedicates at least 75% of its donations to feed the hungry by the end of the year” <= that's a fucking goal!


    Whenever I wish (on stars, on blowing out candles), I ALWAYS wish that I could be happy. ALWAYS. Since I was a little kid. Now it's a silent tradition.


  2. Well she (and the rest of my family) are over-achievers. In just about every way. My family is full of investment bankers, commercial development moguls, and international CEOs. They REALLY don’t understand me. But that’s ok. Anyhow, because they all tend to “dream big,” it probably seems pretty reasonable to her that she can be a very large part of ending world hunger. I’m with you though. I tend to think it’s an unrealistic goal on a global level. On a local level it might be more realistic.

    What I’m really trying to say is that they don’t see the personal as political. And I do. They think I’m a lazy under-achiever. I think I’m modeling the change I’d like to see in the world. Most of the time we all agree to disagree.

  3. I love this and relate to it very much. I also WISH for the end of world hunger, among other things. BUT I strive for happiness. To be truly happy with me. Everything about me and my life.

    Thank you for putting this in to words…I think being happy is the best goal for everyone.

    • Yeah, I’d love for there to be no more hunger and for there to be peace on earth! But it’s not something I’m going to dedicate my life to in the way that I will to being a happy person! And I do wish everyone could be happy. I think that a lot of the other issues in the world would be … lesser… if more people were happy!

  4. I think that’s a fantastic goal. I mean, yeah, it’s important to help out people around you, and people do this on different levels, but in terms of your own life, I think being happy is the most important thing.

    If asked, I think I would actually have the same answer. Lucky for me, I think I’m achieving it. I would just like to keep that up as I continue to grow. Or maybe another answer might be, “to be perfectly myself.” Because happiness would come from that, and I would also be a model of the change I want to see.

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