I was reading an article recently that touched on something I have been thinking about lately. Me. Because I’m vain and self-centered like that. But seriously, I have been considering the fact that I have rarely ever had much of an issue finding partners when I want them. Now I’m not the next big supermodel, the kind of woman that men fall over each other to get across the room to speak with… though in my younger days, one man did hold up traffic on a major road in order to slow down to talk to me while I was walking my dog. At any rate, my point is that I’m generally never the most beautiful woman in the room unless I’m the only woman in the room. Yes, I’m attractive. I’d even say I’m above average in the attractiveness department. But Gisele Bundchen, I’m not. From the article:
I once met a woman who was unhealthy and overweight and with a straight face stated that she would only consider dating a man if he had six-pack abs (unsurprisingly, she was still single).
So why is it that I generally don’t have problems finding partners? I’m not terribly witty. I’m an introvert. I’m not social. I’m fat. And now I’m old and married as well. I also have a very handsome husband, an equally handsome potential second submissive, and now a handsome play partner. I also have 2 other offers on the table from handsome men that I’m not interested in despite their being lovely men. So how the hell did that happen?
One of the other thing this particular author supposes is that people are only interested in what you have to offer them. Now I don’t think that is true in the extremes. But I think there’s something to it. When I was younger, I was already good at intimacy. I have always been pretty good at emotional leaps. I am fearless when it comes to putting my heart on the line. I think that attracts people. Because I don’t think it’s something everyone can do. Also I have large hooters… but I really think that’s secondary!
Now? Well my 3ft spanset round sling brings all the boys to the yard. And by that, I mean I’m a really good Sadist. I have a large set of skills. And I’m confident in my ability to hurt a willing victim without actually damaging him. I bring a lot to the table for the submissive masochist. And I am perfectly comfortable in the “standard Dominatrix gear.” In fact, I prefer it. So while I still won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, chances are good I’m going to have a good amount of overlapping interests with almost any submissive masochist. And I’m fearless about my kinks. I pursue them with a burning passion.
I think people see that (at least within the kink world) and it is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Competence is sexy. Passion is sexy.