Timing is everything

I know this won’t be a forever thing. I know it’s good that it won’t be a forever thing. I don’t think the husband could share me for that long. But for now, while I can, I will love him. And I will have to let him go some day. Maybe not any time soon. I hope it won’t be any time soon. I want to enjoy him for as long as I can! But I know it’s coming. Some day. In the future, it’s out there.

He will meet someone he wants to explore his top side with. Or he will meet the woman he wants to have children with. I can’t give him either of those things. And I don’t want to even if I could. Some day he will get an offer for the job of his dreams in Kyoto or Kuala Lumpur. Or he will simply decide it’s time to move on. And he will break my heart. I can see it in the distance.

But even knowing I will have to give him up some day, I want him. Even knowing that he won’t be mine forever, I want him to be mine for as long as I can have him. Knowing he will break my heart, I will still love him while I can. And I will enjoy every moment and experience until there are no more moments or experiences left between us.

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2 responses to “Timing is everything

  1. This is tragic and so honest it breaks my heart. I sometimes worry about my boy who is a switch wanting to dom. He says he is happy and would rather be a sub than a dom in a relationship, but I always feel like there is this part of him I will never know, but don’t want to know.

    • I suppose it does seem tragic. But really it isn’t. It’s beautiful and honest… and some things *shouldn’t* last forever. What would be tragic to me is if something that *should* be able to be a forever relationship somehow got broken or disrupted or otherwise couldn’t be a forever thing!

      I do know what you mean about the fear involved with making a commitment to someone where you know going in that you can’t possibly meet all the needs that you might otherwise like to meet. I’d love to be able to meet *all* of the wild thing’s kink needs. It seems like such a small category. Just kink. There are friendship needs and family needs and romantic needs and all manner of needs. Just the kink needs seems like something small in comparison. But I can’t meet them all. Not even for that small category. I knew it going in. So did he. And it works for us both for now. But that doesn’t make it less scary giving my heart to someone whose needs I know I can’t meet!

      Of course, I did it anyways. So far… so far I haven’t regretted it one bit. I don’t think I will even after things end either.

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