I see all kinds of advice on the web about what people should and shouldn’t do. Tons of it. Piles of it. Often steaming piles of excrement if one wants to be honest about it. So here’s a wee rant on some of that “advice.”
You have to clean all your toys!!!
Some toys, I agree, it is a good idea to clean before use. Just as a general statement. Whether they’ve been used or not. Insertables, for example. I clean them when they first come home with me (or arrive on my doorstep if I ordered them online). Then I clean them again before and after each use. Yes, it’s wise. But cleaning my very expensive leather flogger? My suede dragon’s tail? No thank you. If it gets blood or cum or some other bodily fluid on it, I’m not cleaning it. Yes, you read that correctly. I’m not cleaning it. Leather is WAY too porous to be properly sanitized. Anything that would even come close to cleaning it (cleaning, we’re not even talking sanitizing here) is going to ruin it. I’m also not giving it to the person whose fluids are now on it. It’s mine. I paid for it. It’s expensive. Get your own $300 flogger. What I will do, however, is make it a single-person toy. Beyond that, the most virulent diseases carried in bodily fluids that we currently know of doesn’t survive outside the body past 4 months. Not even in ideal lab settings. So I will rest the toy for 4 months. Anyone who has an issue with my practices on toy cleaning is welcome to move right along to the next person. Because I’m not ruining my toys for you.
Submissives need their own toys!!!
If a submissive or bottom wants to get their own toys, fantastic. I think it can be a good idea for insertable toys. Those really do tend to be single person toys. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it happens often enough for me to feel comfortable saying that more people who use insertables tend to consider them one person toys than that use the same toy on multiple partners. Other toys? Not so much. If a person wants to bring their own toys to be used on them, fantastic. But don’t expect that I’m going to use your toys rather than mine. I have my own toys for a reason. That reason is because I like them a lot. I also know them and what they can or can’t do. I don’t know your toys. I might or might not try them out. If you don’t like my toys or the fact that I’m not bleaching them or autoclaving them between uses… please see the above advice about where you can go.
Anyone who won’t give you their full legal name before you meet for coffee/won’t show you their [various government issued picture ID card] on a first meeting is clearly a fake/unsafe!!!
I know we live in an age where information is fast and loose. Where you can find almost anything about almost anyone. However, I’m not showing you my picture ID which has my full legal name and address. I may know you well enough to meet up for a coffee or lunch, but that doesn’t mean you’ve earned my trust. I have seen way too many people outed. I’ve seen too many people blackmailed to keep from being outed. (OK, I believe even a single person is too many people. But in this case, it’s more than one. Which is both scary and sad.) I’ve also been stalked. I’m sure some people won’t show their ID or give out personal information to someone for nefarious reasons. I realize that you don’t know me enough to know that I’m not being dishonest, I’m just being cautious. But by that same reasoning, realize that I don’t know you well enough to know you won’t stalk me or out me. If you think that makes me unsafe, once again, feel free to seek your kink elsewhere.