More musings on being older: TNG edition

I just read a rant on fetlife about older people attending events which are specifically created for younger people. Frankly, I’m fine with niche groups. I belong to a few of them myself. Nothing wrong with it.

Despite being invited (by people who didn’t know my age) and having had several partners who would qualify my to attend the TNG events, I haven’t gone. I would not like it if a male switch in “Dom mode” showed up at my femdom group. I’m out of the age range. And unless a younger partner dragged me along for moral support (or something similar), I don’t see myself attending a group meant specifically for younger people. There are plenty of other places I can go. I don’t need to go to a group not meant for my age range. I say all of the above to say this…

Not all old people are creepers. And, in fact, some young people are creepers. Not all old people are going to hit on every hot young thing around. Some of us are so incredibly picky that it would be a minor miracle if we hit on anyone of any age. Not all old people have years of experience in kink. Sometimes, people don’t find kink until later in life. I appreciate that the TNG groups are set up to keep out the creepy old people who hit on the new, inexperienced people, scaring them away from the kink scene forever. I know there are creeper old farts who WILL hit on all the naive newbies and scare them away from kink. Yes, they are out there. But when one fails to make the distinction that creepers come in all flavors, it’s akin to calling me a creeper. Because I’m one of those older people.

And really, can we please stop with the blatant ageism? Both ways. When one assumes all old people are creepers, it’s an assumption based purely on age. That’s ageist. When one assumes all young people are naive and can’t fend for themselves, it’s also an assumption based on age. Also wrong. Let’s give the old fogies enough credit to think that we (at least most of us) can manage to keep it in our proverbial pants. Let’s give the younger kinky people enough credit to think they are perfectly capable of fending for themselves. Because doing otherwise is pretty offensive.

Caveat: I have certainly seen other reasons for TNG groups, and recognize that not all people hold the above attitudes.


2 responses to “More musings on being older: TNG edition

  1. Apart from not knowing what TNG stands for , your post made me laugh. I hope it was meant to. Im ancient and if asked to an event which is predominantly for the young I say “no thanks” (because we don’t have a great deal in common – why force them to be polite to me ,and vice versa).
    And if Im invited to an event meant for the “ancients” I say “No thanks” (because although I might be ancient , I don’t want to walk and talk with dinosaurs. That will come soon enough)
    I like being with people – not labels.

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