Monthly Archives: October 2014

30 Days of Kink: 6 – 10

Day 6) Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.

I have a hard time determining what is “weird” and what isn’t. So many things seem quite normal to me, but my perspective has likely been skewed by spending so much time in kinky or kink-friendly spaces. I’d say that my blood play fantasies would probably qualify as weird or interesting to several people. However, they seem quite normal to me and they are largely no longer fantasies since I get to do them.

What might qualify as “weird” and is definitely in the realm of fantasy is my love of tentacles. I’d love to have tentacles with which to tease and torture my partners! I’d make one sexy tentacle monster.

Day 7) What’s your favorite toy?

Hmmmmm. I’d be hard pressed to pick a favorite. I do consider both the Husband and the Wild Thing to be my boy toys. So they’re my favorite toys. However, if we’re talking about kink implements, I’d say either the scalpel or the bullwhip. I really enjoy making people bleed. There’s something very visceral about seeing your lover bleeding and knowing that he’s bleeding his life’s blood for you.

Day 8) Post a kinky image you find erotic.

from the tumblr work is never over

from the tumblr work is never over

There are so many things to love about this picture. He’s a cute young pretty thing. She is older. He is in sexy lingerie and they are matching. I have a weakness for petite femme boys who will let me dress them up and torture them!

Day 9) Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy

Oddly, this is a struggle for me. I don’t play to “kink related songs.” I play to songs I like that have a good beat. A few things come to mind though. “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It certainly isn’t meant to be kinky. But the chorus states: They don’t love you like I love you. And, well, non-kinky people usually don’t show they love someone by tying him up and beating the hell out of him!

Day 10) What are your hard limits?

No minors. No animals. No scat. No vomit/rainbow/Roman play. I do not share my partner(s).



Liebster Award: the Answers

I was nominated for a Liebster Award by Shaylina from the blog The Submission of Shaylina. Here’s a handy link to her blog —>


1. Link and thank the person who nominated you

2. Answer the questions asked of you

3. Pick a few bloggers with less than 200 followers to nominate

4. Ask them a few questions

5. Let them know by commenting on one of their posts

Thanks for the nomination! Answers as follows:


1)  What brings you to wordpress?

I wanted a place to write down some of my private thoughts about my relationships. Sometimes I just need an outlet & I don’t always want to talk to friends (talking to family is right out!) because they know the people involved too well. Not only that, but I imagined that it might not be a bad thing to have a realistic example of someone who is actually involved in a Female Dominant/male submissive relationship. So much of what’s out there is unrealistic crap. WordPress was… free.

2) What drives your passion to write/type/blog?

Basically what I said in question 1. Though I’m not sure I’d call this a drive or passion for writing. I don’t consider myself much of a writer. This could be due to having 2 editors in my family and several friends who are published authors. I pale in comparison! And I also write more on occasion, as opposed to my author friends who really write because they can’t not write.

3) Who’s on your celebrity list (you know the one, the list of if I ever get to sleep with them it’s not cheating…)

I do not have one of these. Actually. This is largely because I’m a total stick in the mud when it comes to my sex life. (Yes, in spite of the kink) I have to know someone in order to even have a remote chance of wanting to bed him. My attraction is incredibly rare. I always consider it to be a minor miracle when I can manage to find someone I find attractive enough to consider sex with. Then I get to know him. And that has to work too. THEN, he would have to be a submissive masochist. Nothing else works for me sexually other than kinky sex. If I can’t have that kind of sex, I’m not going to be bothered.

4) Who inspires you in your life?

Right now, I’m inspired by my boyfriend, the Wild Thing. His passion is infectious!

However, I’m not nominating anyone. Because I’m a rebel. (Or because I am lazy and don’t like following other peoples’ rules. Or even because I don’t read any blogs that fall into the requested parameters.)

30 Days of Kink: Days 1 – 5

Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.

I am a sadistic dominant and a fetishist. I don’t have any interest in switching, submitting, receiving pain or being in bondage. I also identify as an owner more than a master, mistress, domme, or goddess. I also appreciate service. It’s a rough combination. Ideally I seek  masochist service submissives who are fans of latex and other fetish clothing. You might think these men are around every street corner. I promise you they aren’t. And on top of that, I really need someone who can submit to me on a 24/7 basis. It doesn’t have to be TPE, but it does need to be an integral part of his everyday life to submit to me. So, in short, I’m interested in bondage, dominance, sadism, fetishism, and service. I’m not sure that’s terribly in-depth or interesting, but it’s what I seek when I seek partners.

Day 2: List your kinks

There are way too many specific ways I like to express my kinks. Things like whips and chains and needles. However, I’d say all the activities that I do are expressions my actual kinks. I kink on vulnerability, helplessness, trust, intimacy, and reactions.

Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?

Entirely by chance. I had some friends that were kinky and they shared that fact with me. Before that, I had a lot of bad sex and frustrating relationships.

Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?

As I’m an old codger, it’s difficult to remember back that far sometimes. I will say that I rarely found things disturbing or scary that other children did. I merely found them interesting. But that could also just be my natural tendency to be curious. I did see a movie involving cutting and blood as a child that I’m fairly certain influenced my current love of bloodplay. So perhaps I should have known. But I didn’t.

Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?

My first experience was trying to be a good submissive. So it was interesting to say the least. And that pales in comparison to my first sexual experience as a sadist. I picked up a flogger and hit a willing bottom with it a few times. It was electric, exciting, satisfying in ways I had never even dreamed of. There was no other contact. Nobody was naked. It was, to all appearances, quite innocent. But for me it was a sexual revelation. All the joy in my sexual life has unfolded from that single moment.

This is my life: strapon sex

I am only into tease and denial when I’m the one doing the teasing and denying. However, my agreement with the Husband does not include my being able to interact sexually however I’d like to with the Wild Thing. I’d like to be able to for the above mentioned reason. I don’t like being denied. However, I also wouldn’t like being divorced, so we compromise. All of us. Part of that compromise is that I can use a strapon with the Wild Thing whenever I want to, or I can put one on him and use him that way instead of using his own cock (which is not acceptable without additional negotiation ahead of time).

But I wanted that intimacy with the Wild Thing. I wanted to look into his eyes, see his beautiful visage, feel that connection between bodies. It seemed like the perfect ending to our play. He had been such a good rope bunny for me. I had challenged him and he had stepped up to meet that challenge. I wanted to praise him and connect with him at the same time. I know he loves being used, especially being used sexually. I put the strapon harness on him.

Even knowing it wasn’t his flesh and blood didn’t matter to the connection I felt when I felt him inside me. It’s not quite as good a feel for me as the real thing since silicone isn’t as giving as flesh. But that doesn’t affect the emotional connection for me at all. We started off with him on top. I wanted to be a starfish, a pillow princess, a lazy lover, catered to… and I was. He is very good at both taking direction and learning what I like. Then we took a brief break and I wanted to be on top of him. Riding my lover. Crushing him under me. Using him for my pleasure.

It was almost as if it was flesh and blood inside me. He reacted in such a way that I knew he could feel me moving over his lithe body. And he must have. He was hard under the harness. And sticking out of the top, I could feel him. Before long he was asking for permission to cum. So overtaken, as he always is, that he can barely articulate his desire. Barely speak the actual words to ask for my permission. I wanted it. He deserved it. I had certainly had my fill of physical and emotional climaxes. I let him cum.

And he was so conscientious about not getting any on the leather as he took it off. Such a gem!

This is my life: Silent Witness

This moment. You and I and the rope and the music on the stereo. Black cotton sheets under your body become the dark matter of the universe.

Moments become years. The beat of the music is the sound of atoms colliding. Our bodies intertwining like a helix, we are reflection and creation.

Years are eons. I surround you as you bare yourself to me, and we are one thought, one feeling, one motion. We raise our voice in whispered songs as the galaxy stops to listen.

Time loses itself in us. Our passion spirals out into the nothingness, becoming everything. All that is and was and shall be pauses, breathes with us, and moves as one.



(Yes, this was my weekend experience. Sometimes he’s so beautiful I have no words. And sometimes I do.)

Musings on my visual nature

When I see your body, I want to enjoy it. I admire how solid and corporeal you are. I don’t fear injuring you because of your wonderful, beautiful, solid body. Your heavy bones are covered with just the right combination of muscle and fat to entice me into wanting to beat you. Put you through your paces. See how far I can push you. You are the earth to my water. Your solidity seduces my eyes.

When I see your body, I find it captivating. I can’t help but want to explore your lightness. I enjoy the feel of your delicate bones barely covered by sinew and skin. I love the soft hairlessness of your skin and the sharp hardness of your bones in contrast. I follow your ethereal movements with greedy eyes. I can see each muscle moving beneath your lightly dappled skin.