30 Days of Kink: 16 – 20

16. What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?

I really reduces the pool of potential partners. Not that my pool was ever that large, because I’m already quite particular about what I like. But adding in that I must also have a submissive masochist really takes that pool down to almost zero. It took me half an average lifetime to find someone compatible, and I consider even that to be a miracle.

17. What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?

We’re just regular people. We’re not some murder waiting to happen. Nor are we aliens. We’re your sons and daughters. Your librarian. Your waiter. Your doctor. We’re the little old lady waiting at the bus stop. You can’t tell us from anyone else because we are just regular people.

18. Any kink/BDSM pet peeves?

My biggest pet peeves are the one twue wayisms. The ones that irritate me the most are that the only good dominant/top/sadist is one who has spent time as a submissive/bottom/masochist & that penetration is automatically a submissive act.

19. Any unexpected ways kink has improved your life?

Given that kinks of any kind didn’t even figure into my thought process until I stumbled into it… It has improved my life in almost every possible way. I am much more fulfilled knowing what actually works for me and my relationships. And, of course, my sex life went from boring to amazing!

20. Talk about something within kink/BDSM that you’re curious about/don’t understand.

Well… I’m not sure that it’s really what the question had in mind, but I’m really curious what makes willingness. Why is the Wild Thing willing to submit to things he really doesn’t want to do because it makes me happy? Why am I not willing to do that? Where does it come from? Is it nature or nurture? Some combination of both? Is it hard wired from birth or can it be changed/learned?

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