1. a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant
2. a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person
3. a drudge “a housekeeping slave”
Note that in the above official definition from the dictionary, the slave is entirely and wholly under the authority of someone (something) else. Entirely. Wholly. Not occasionally. Not somewhat. Not on a few things, but not on others. Not even on most things. Not even most of the time. Entirely. Wholly.
So even though “slavery” in a kink sense is certainly not a legal state of being. At least not the way I kink, the word still has a quite narrow definition. Despite the changing (over lengthy periods of time) linguistic landscape, the definition stands. It means something specific.
In the kink world, when someone says they are a slave, it usually means they are entirely and wholly under the authority of someone else. They have voluntarily given up the authority over absolutely everything at all times of the day or night. And while one can certainly mean something else that isn’t even close to the dictionary definition by “slave,” it’s going to cause a lot of confusion and potential butthurt.
I say all that so that I can say this:
Dear Porn and Prodommes,
I know it’s very sexy and hot to call the guy you are doing things with your “slave.” I wouldn’t even tell you that you shouldn’t call him or her or them your “slave.” Have at it. But can we please have a discussion with the clients or disclaimer somewhere on the porn propaganda that being a “slave” for a few hours once every few months bears no resemblance to what most people who kink in the lifestyle BDSM scene consider “slavery.” Thanks.
(Disclaimer, because I feel it’s necessary: This post is not about my current kink life, but is absolutely about many a man I’ve come into contact with on a personal level in the past.)