Don’t be that guy

So I have a bit of a bone to pick. I have seen a rash of “woe is me” posts lately. And, admittedly, I am probably not the most sympathetic person when it comes to privileged people whining about how rough they have it. And I am particularly unsympathetic when young and conventionally attractive women whine about how hard it is being a cis, white, attractive, young woman. I mean don’t you know their life is JUST SO HARD! Well I have had a rough few weeks. So my normally sparse sympathy is currently nonexistent. Yes, yes… I know that cis, white, conventionally attractive young people do have the same basic capacity to have problems just like all other people do. But really… cry me a fucking river.

So you are the poor, poor girl that everyone wants to play with. It’s just terrible that you have access to so much play.  Yes, I hear you that you want love with your play. Frankly, so do I. I think a lot of people do. That isn’t where you lost me. I was already lost when you were whining about something that so very many people don’t have access to at all. With loving partners or not. People who would love to be able to play, but simply don’t have anyone willing to play with them. People who don’t fit the conventional standards of beauty. People who are differently abled. Trans people dealing with ridiculous prejudice. These people also deserve loving people to play with. The main difference is that they don’t always have the opportunity to even turn people down for play a lot of the time. So yeah. I get that you are unhappy you pretty, young, white, cis woman who already has a daddy. You poor thing. I just feel for you that one loving partner to play with isn’t enough for you. And you had to let the internet know how rough it is to be so pretty that everyone wants you. Yes. Isn’t it horrible for you…

And you too, poor girl too cute to be taken seriously. I feel for your terrible plight. Being young and pretty is just horrible. I mean, all the answers to the thread basically said that being young and cute is a good thing. But we all know how hard it is.

In short. If you are an able bodied, cis, young, white woman… please stop complaining about your partner-finding issues. Everyone has a rough time finding compatible partners. And you are actually quite privileged. Just try to imagine not having nearly as many options. Like if you were an elderly, differently abled, trans person of color seeking play partners. Think about that for a minute.

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

 

Caveats: I speak from my own place of privilege as someone with two compatible partners. And I fully accept that just because one is privileged in one area, they could be disadvantaged in other areas. I also do think it sucks when people in general are seeking connection and can’t find it, no matter their circumstances/privileges.

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4 responses to “Don’t be that guy

  1. Right on with your comments as usual. My heart bleeds openly for that young beautiful white women. Very privileged whining indeed. As you so poignantly mentioned there are many of us that don’t have the privilege of youth, the right color, good looks and are very isolated! Thank-you for actually demonstrating compassion for the rest of us!

  2. This is a spot on observation. I completely lose it at these pity party posts. Admittedly, I am sometimes guilty of that type of post myself, but that has to do with my Anxiety disorder, Depressive disorder and other insecurities that need to be treated with medication. And I generally try to avoid turning them into pity posts on social media (… I don’t always succeed, but I mostly don’t post that sort of stuff).

    I realize that as a young, white woman, I am a very priviledged Dom. This is why, in spite of my insecurities, I try to keep things straight and not post this sort of “fishing for compliments” discussions in the first place.

    • Ah yes! I believe you have hit another nail on the head of what annoys me so much about these kinds of posts. I hate when people go fishing for compliments. There is nothing wrong with wanting some support! But just say that instead of whining.

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