I keep seeing discussions about how people choose their D/s partners and how they go about weeding the wheat from the chaff and what labels they are looking for and blah blah blah… Yes, it’s important to find partners you are actually compatible with. I get it. But one thing I DON’T get is how 24/7 seems to have become synonymous with TPE. Because I don’t agree with that idea at all.
Let me start by defining the terms 24/7 and TPE and how I come by those definitions. Because it’s vital to the reasoning behind my above referenced disagreement.
I define 24/7 as 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So it pertains to time. In this case it is a unit of time that basically does not end. It is an ongoing time period.
I define TPE (total power exchange) as a type of relationship where one or more persons has given authority to one or more persons over absolutely everything. And I mean EVERYTHING… job/no job, clothing worn (or not worn), how to spend free time, who does the chores, what kind of car to own (or not), length of nostril hairs, everything. So it pertains to a level of authority.
I find these two concepts to be related but NOT THE SAME THING. One has to do with time. The other has to do with authority. The way they are related (in my opinion) has to do with the level of authority exchange being total. Because I think it would be difficult to have total authority over someone for a limited time period. I suppose it would depend a lot on what one actually wanted to exert authority over. Because if I have a TPE agreement with someone only on the 12th of every month… and I tell him on the 12th of June that he has to quit his job? Well, that is going to extend beyond the 12th of June. So a TPE relationship is usually also a 24/7 relationship.
BUT…
Not all 24/7 relationships are TPE. And I find this to be an important distinction. I seek 24/7 relationships because some of the things I want authority over are things I want authority over ALL THE TIME. But I don’t need authority over everything. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had submissive men run scared because I mention that I like 24/7 D/s. They will start telling me how they can’t give up control of everything to someone. They aren’t a good fit because they want to retain some authority over things like friends, family, and work. And I am quick to point out my views on the difference between 24/7 and TPE.
But the fact remains that there are some things I want continuous authority over. All day every day. So yes, I am a 24/7 dominant looking for a 24/7 submissive. (Well I am not actually looking right now, but you get the point.) But I don’t care how long your nostril hairs are or if you want to wear a rainbow tie-die speedo to the beach. But I don’t want to share authority over how the towels are folded or how often my submissive orgasms.
So the tl;dr version is: TPE is about what things someone has authority over and 24/7 is about when someone has authority over something. But they really not the same thing at all.
anonymouskinky 
Well said – and I appreciate your delineating between the two terms as they certainly aren’t synonymous. Although, I kinda have to wonder at someone’s intelligence if they think ‘literal’ TPE was something that occurred outside erotic novels or the of cult. I’m sure there’s ‘some’ household that ‘someone’ knew about/lived in that was run by someone who had enough time to micromanage every little thing. But the majority of kinky folks have to live, work, and juggle all the flaming balls life tosses at them. The form of TPE you define, where authority is chosen and exerted, is sustainable. The other, for most people, is either a fantasy or just crazy talk.
“Although, I kinda have to wonder at someone’s intelligence if they think ‘literal’ TPE was something that occurred outside erotic novels or the of cult. I’m sure there’s ‘some’ household that ‘someone’ knew about/lived in that was run by someone who had enough time to micromanage every little thing. ”
I don’t actually see micromanagement as a necessary component of a TPE relationship. I know at least 3 TPE relationships where micromanagement is specifically NOT wanted. I can absolutely see how micromanagement might also be confused with TPE though.
To me, TPE literally means the dominant person has final say on absolutely everything, and they have authority over absolutely everything. But it doesn’t mean that the dominant person has to tell their submissive partner to breathe in and out! I think that TPE where the dominant has authority over everything is very workable in reality!
I agree that TPE where a dominant has authority over everything is workable. Hell, not only workable but necessary (Just my humble opinion). But, no, thankfully, breathing is an autonomic reflex and need not be managed 😉
That said, your point is well taken.
I’ve noticed dominants in a TPE dynamic often enjoy exercising their authority over a submissive’s bladder as a means of humiliation and a reminder of his place. However, it seems to be a very infrequent or widely intermittent area of control as time goes on. That is, it works, and a boy will still obey this restriction if instructed, but it seems to become ‘trivial’ to dominants among many other activities.
The topic always fascinates me, so thank you for writing and discussing TPE.
Much appreciated!
It would be interesting to learn more about what you do and don’t require under TPE as you see it
Well, clearly since I define TPE as the dominant (for your question, that would be me) having authority over absolutely everything…
If I were to enter into a TPE relationship with someone, I would require authority over everything. And since I am a 24/7 dominant (who also doesn’t see much wisdom in a TPE relationship that isn’t also a 24/7 relationship), I would require a 24/7 TPE relationship.
I’m a submissive slave to my wife who I will refer to as my owner for this text , I have been married for quite a few years and really we were pretty much a femdom couple all the time , I was lucky inthe fact that my wife really liked the idea of being dominant over me ,well she didn’t need convincing and as our life together went on well she took more control over me to the point where we are a full blown TPE marriage , i make no decisions I have no safe words , I own no property everything is in my wife’s name I have no rights to anything , we had an attorney that understood what we were doing and set up a sort of pre-nup type of contract where I give up my right to any property in our marriage my salary from work goes directly into my wife’s account and I have no access to her account , the law doesn’t recognize FLR so we are legal in as much as law will allow , the rest well they are rules that my owner insisted on before we were actually married , what my owner wanted first and for most was she didn’t want to be confined in any manner in our marriage she wanted to still enjoy total freedom like if she was still single but for me if I wanted to marry her well I would not be allowed the same freedom , we understood that we have different needs she was well just a higher being then I am , she is a natural leader and I’m a born follower , leadership just comes very easy for her she is of German decent and well she is very strong willed and she doesn’t feel l guilty if she’s hurting me or that she taking advantage of me she isn’t like saddled with like the ideas she is some kind of home maker she does what she wants when she wants without any regret she just takes what she wants she not a second guess kind of person and she’s not sentimental she’s strict and tough with me and that’s exactly what I need we just seem to be perfect for each other , my owner has certain preferences things that she likes and wants and she will not be denied and she must have complete sexual freedom she has well a different kind of love for me she loves me in a way that you love property oh she does care about me but not like Man and women relationship we are not equal but my love for her is complete I love nobody else I love her my world is all about my owner my existence my motive the thing that is most important to me is my obedience to her my acceptance of her superiority over me , I must give her my complete respect I never question her I just don’t have that right I only have the right to obey her and that is all I desire to do I’m satisfied with that I could never even think of myself as her equal ha ha ! that’s never going to happen , well to get me to this point well my owner takes punishment and training very seriously as I do and she uses her riding crop very harshly and with no mercy and if she gets carried away and hurts me well it’s my bad luck , she had my penis pierced in a PA and I’m in chastity of course I only have orgasms when she allows it and by her hand only and well I have to eat my own cum actually she holds a small bowl that I cum in and then my owner spoon feeds my own cum to me which I didn’t like at first but after a while I don’t mind it and it was a form of training , she laughs and calls it recycling , now my owner has a personal preference for Afro American men well she only makes love with black men she doesn’t find white dicks at all attractive and in my case she has me in a micro cage and we refer to my penis as her clitty or her dicklet and she says it’s a joke not a Cock and it will never get anywhere near her pussy , she makes love to black men only, she goes to a club that’s really mostly black men and white woman a place gor them to hook up now Friday and Saturday nights are her nights to go out I stay home I drive her to the club then I return home and wait for her and she has No need to sneak around she openly dates black men she likes people to see her and well she had different men over the years she will have a lover for a while but then she will move on but for the last year she has been with one man Master Micheal and he does have control of her love making and she does obey him he told me that he owns her pussy and she did agree with him in bed he is dominant over her she likes him to be aggressive in bed but That’s it , it doesn’t go to her everyday life she could never live that way, she likes to have a slave husband that she owns andMaster Micheal does have rules that I obey and the main rule is I’m never allowed to fuck my owner of course he doesn’t have to worry about that but the other rule is I can only eat her pussy after they made love and they don’t use condoms so I taste him every time I get to eat her and I really like to lick her cum filled pussy, she has girl friends that are bbc only and well all her friends know about her lover Master Micheal and like I said she likes people to know about him he is really a great looking man tall very black athletic they do make a really sexy couple and he has a 10 inch cock very thick my owner made me watch as she measured it for me and I was naked with my micro caged clitty that was a comparison test she did and it was very humiliating any male ego I might of had was obliterated after that so I’m a cuckold slave husband I’ve been broken down and kind of rebuilt my owner laughs she always says it’s like I took a knife and cut off your cock and balls and I do feel that way most of the time but I’m not complaining I feel very good I’m grateful to my owner and Master Micheal they have the power they could turn me out anytime they want I’m property ,, thank you slave cc PS we believe in the Black New World Order