Musings on 24/7

I keep seeing discussions about how people choose their D/s partners and how they go about weeding the wheat from the chaff and what labels they are looking for and blah blah blah… Yes, it’s important to find partners you are actually compatible with. I get it. But one thing I DON’T get is how 24/7 seems to have become synonymous with TPE. Because I don’t agree with that idea at all.

Let me start by defining the terms 24/7 and TPE and how I come by those definitions. Because it’s vital to the reasoning behind my above referenced disagreement.

I define 24/7 as 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So it pertains to time. In this case it is a unit of time that basically does not end. It is an ongoing time period.

I define TPE (total power exchange) as a type of relationship where one or more persons has given authority to one or more persons over absolutely everything. And I mean EVERYTHING… job/no job, clothing worn (or not worn), how to spend free time, who does the chores, what kind of car to own (or not), length of nostril hairs, everything. So it pertains to a level of authority.

I find these two concepts to be related but NOT THE SAME THING. One has to do with time. The other has to do with authority. The way they are related (in my opinion) has to do with the level of authority exchange being total. Because I think it would be difficult to have total authority over someone for a limited time period. I suppose it would depend a lot on what one actually wanted to exert authority over. Because if I have a TPE agreement with someone only on the 12th of every month… and I tell him on the 12th of June that he has to quit his job? Well, that is going to extend beyond the 12th of June. So a TPE relationship is usually also a 24/7 relationship.


Not all 24/7 relationships are TPE. And I find this to be an important distinction. I seek 24/7 relationships because some of the things I want authority over are things I want authority over ALL THE TIME. But I don’t need authority over everything. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had submissive men run scared because I mention that I like 24/7 D/s. They will start telling me how they can’t give up control of everything to someone. They aren’t a good fit because they want to retain some authority over things like friends, family, and work. And I am quick to point out my views on the difference between 24/7 and TPE.

But the fact remains that there are some things I want continuous authority over. All day every day. So yes, I am a 24/7 dominant looking for a 24/7 submissive. (Well I am not actually looking right now, but you get the point.) But I don’t care how long your nostril hairs are or if you want to wear a rainbow tie-die speedo to the beach. But I don’t want to share authority over how the towels are folded or how often my submissive orgasms.

So the tl;dr version is: TPE is about what things someone has authority over and 24/7 is about when someone has authority over something. But they really not the same thing at all.


5 responses to “Musings on 24/7

  1. Well said – and I appreciate your delineating between the two terms as they certainly aren’t synonymous. Although, I kinda have to wonder at someone’s intelligence if they think ‘literal’ TPE was something that occurred outside erotic novels or the of cult. I’m sure there’s ‘some’ household that ‘someone’ knew about/lived in that was run by someone who had enough time to micromanage every little thing. But the majority of kinky folks have to live, work, and juggle all the flaming balls life tosses at them. The form of TPE you define, where authority is chosen and exerted, is sustainable. The other, for most people, is either a fantasy or just crazy talk.

    • “Although, I kinda have to wonder at someone’s intelligence if they think ‘literal’ TPE was something that occurred outside erotic novels or the of cult. I’m sure there’s ‘some’ household that ‘someone’ knew about/lived in that was run by someone who had enough time to micromanage every little thing. ”

      I don’t actually see micromanagement as a necessary component of a TPE relationship. I know at least 3 TPE relationships where micromanagement is specifically NOT wanted. I can absolutely see how micromanagement might also be confused with TPE though.

      To me, TPE literally means the dominant person has final say on absolutely everything, and they have authority over absolutely everything. But it doesn’t mean that the dominant person has to tell their submissive partner to breathe in and out! I think that TPE where the dominant has authority over everything is very workable in reality!

      • I agree that TPE where a dominant has authority over everything is workable. Hell, not only workable but necessary (Just my humble opinion). But, no, thankfully, breathing is an autonomic reflex and need not be managed 😉

        That said, your point is well taken.

        I’ve noticed dominants in a TPE dynamic often enjoy exercising their authority over a submissive’s bladder as a means of humiliation and a reminder of his place. However, it seems to be a very infrequent or widely intermittent area of control as time goes on. That is, it works, and a boy will still obey this restriction if instructed, but it seems to become ‘trivial’ to dominants among many other activities.

        The topic always fascinates me, so thank you for writing and discussing TPE.

        Much appreciated!

  2. It would be interesting to learn more about what you do and don’t require under TPE as you see it

    • Well, clearly since I define TPE as the dominant (for your question, that would be me) having authority over absolutely everything…

      If I were to enter into a TPE relationship with someone, I would require authority over everything. And since I am a 24/7 dominant (who also doesn’t see much wisdom in a TPE relationship that isn’t also a 24/7 relationship), I would require a 24/7 TPE relationship.

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