We had been together for several days already. There had been opportunities, but I’d passed them up. It didn’t seem quite the moment. He was not in his usual happy mood. I was waiting. I had him do some cooking, which usually cheers him up. It seemed to bring back some of his usual cheerful demeanor, but it didn’t last. I had given him some chores. That helped temporarily as well. He even asked if there was more he could do. But eventually, I was tired of waiting for that perfect moment.
I stripped him. I bound him. I started biting and flogging him. He began crying with the flogging. I had been expecting that. He’d been in a melancholy mood. His emotions close to the surface. I soon gave up the flogger for the whips. I began to hurt him in earnest. He sobbed. I put a towel down at his feet so he could drool, spit, sputter, anything. And he did. I gave him tissues and sips of water. I continued to whip him til his legs were collapsing and his back was bloody.
As his legs gave out, it was starting to pull on his wrists. His arms stretched overhead to their limit. So I took the cuffs off. And kept going. I placed my foot near his hand so he could touch me if he wanted to. Or needed to. He did. Eventually I decided he’d had enough. He was sobbing on the ground in a small pile of beautiful, bloody, submissive flesh. I put the whip down and laid on the ground beside him. He reached for me with a sweet desperation. I probably shouldn’t love that. But I do. It’s one of my favorite parts of our play. He needs to feel me. Feel me surrounding him with my arms and my acceptance and my love. He needs it like air. And I love him all the more for his unabashed neediness.
This time was different though. His sobbing was less heaving and more choking tears. It felt different to me as well. I asked him about it and my suspicions were confirmed. He didn’t experience the same moving kind of catharsis he usually does when I whip him that hard. I was hoping for that catharsis for him. That letting go and purging of emotions. But it doesn’t seem to work that way for him. Actually, it’s never worked that way for anyone I’ve played with. I begin to wonder if that “I will beat you because you need to let go!” is just a myth. I think the thing that helped the most was our being together. But maybe his being able to serve me by cooking, cleaning, and meeting my sadistic needs was more help than I think. I’ll have to ask him after more time has passed and he has some distance from it.
Posted in blood, bondage, D/s, just me, kink, love, musings, my life, play, the wild thing
Tagged bdsm, blood, bondage, D/s, dominance, femdom, kink, love, musings, my life, needs, play, relationships, S/m, submission, the wild thing, trust
Day 6) Describe your weirdest/most interesting sexual fantasy.
I have a hard time determining what is “weird” and what isn’t. So many things seem quite normal to me, but my perspective has likely been skewed by spending so much time in kinky or kink-friendly spaces. I’d say that my blood play fantasies would probably qualify as weird or interesting to several people. However, they seem quite normal to me and they are largely no longer fantasies since I get to do them.
What might qualify as “weird” and is definitely in the realm of fantasy is my love of tentacles. I’d love to have tentacles with which to tease and torture my partners! I’d make one sexy tentacle monster.
Day 7) What’s your favorite toy?
Hmmmmm. I’d be hard pressed to pick a favorite. I do consider both the Husband and the Wild Thing to be my boy toys. So they’re my favorite toys. However, if we’re talking about kink implements, I’d say either the scalpel or the bullwhip. I really enjoy making people bleed. There’s something very visceral about seeing your lover bleeding and knowing that he’s bleeding his life’s blood for you.
Day 8) Post a kinky image you find erotic.
There are so many things to love about this picture. He’s a cute young pretty thing. She is older. He is in sexy lingerie and they are matching. I have a weakness for petite femme boys who will let me dress them up and torture them!
Day 9) Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy
Oddly, this is a struggle for me. I don’t play to “kink related songs.” I play to songs I like that have a good beat. A few things come to mind though. “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. It certainly isn’t meant to be kinky. But the chorus states: They don’t love you like I love you. And, well, non-kinky people usually don’t show they love someone by tying him up and beating the hell out of him!
Day 10) What are your hard limits?
No minors. No animals. No scat. No vomit/rainbow/Roman play. I do not share my partner(s).
Posted in 30 days of kink, blood, bondage, D/s, just me, kink, musings, play
Tagged bdsm, blood, bondage, D/s, kink, musings, play, rope
Day 1: Dom, sub, switch? What parts of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
I am a sadistic dominant and a fetishist. I don’t have any interest in switching, submitting, receiving pain or being in bondage. I also identify as an owner more than a master, mistress, domme, or goddess. I also appreciate service. It’s a rough combination. Ideally I seek masochist service submissives who are fans of latex and other fetish clothing. You might think these men are around every street corner. I promise you they aren’t. And on top of that, I really need someone who can submit to me on a 24/7 basis. It doesn’t have to be TPE, but it does need to be an integral part of his everyday life to submit to me. So, in short, I’m interested in bondage, dominance, sadism, fetishism, and service. I’m not sure that’s terribly in-depth or interesting, but it’s what I seek when I seek partners.
Day 2: List your kinks
There are way too many specific ways I like to express my kinks. Things like whips and chains and needles. However, I’d say all the activities that I do are expressions my actual kinks. I kink on vulnerability, helplessness, trust, intimacy, and reactions.
Day 3: How did you discover you were kinky?
Entirely by chance. I had some friends that were kinky and they shared that fact with me. Before that, I had a lot of bad sex and frustrating relationships.
Day 4: Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks?
As I’m an old codger, it’s difficult to remember back that far sometimes. I will say that I rarely found things disturbing or scary that other children did. I merely found them interesting. But that could also just be my natural tendency to be curious. I did see a movie involving cutting and blood as a child that I’m fairly certain influenced my current love of bloodplay. So perhaps I should have known. But I didn’t.
Day 5: What was your first kinky sexual experience?
My first experience was trying to be a good submissive. So it was interesting to say the least. And that pales in comparison to my first sexual experience as a sadist. I picked up a flogger and hit a willing bottom with it a few times. It was electric, exciting, satisfying in ways I had never even dreamed of. There was no other contact. Nobody was naked. It was, to all appearances, quite innocent. But for me it was a sexual revelation. All the joy in my sexual life has unfolded from that single moment.
Posted in 30 days of kink, blood, bondage, D/s, just me, kink, my life, play, sex, trust
Tagged bdsm, blood, bondage, D/s, dominance, kink, latex, my life, needs, play, S/m, sex, submission, trust
He was lounging on the table so casually. Naked. Unselfconscious. Relaxed. Humming along to the music I had playing. He looked so incredibly inviting. I could hardly wait to begin. But I wanted to take this moment to admire his casual grace. He saw me notice him and smiled. It only served to increase his charm. I told him how relaxed he looked and he made a joke about lounging on pianos and singing to me. It was sweet and funny and it ended the moment enough for me to want to start tying him up.
I tied him around the waist and down each leg. I needed to tie him to the table, but wanted to have something prettier and more extensive than simply tying his ankles to the legs of the table. He loves when I’m creative with rope. He preened in the rope and looked so happy. I had him lay down on the table so I could tie his arms to the front table legs. I wanted to give him enough play to reach me if he needed to touch my skin for comfort. Or to shift his shoulders. I planned to be very mean to one of them.
I cleaned my hands, I cleaned him. He looked quite relaxed and peaceful. I knew it wouldn’t last. The first needle. It was smaller than the last time I did needles with him, but I knew it would be harder. I slid the needle in. All of it. I buried the whole metallic length under his skin. He might have thought he was prepared for it. I’d told him what I had planned. He wasn’t prepared. He wailed. I smiled. I’d known it would be much more challenging. I also knew he could handle it.
And he did. Needle after needle. Some of them directly on top of each other. Some crisscrossing other needles. Some on their own. I put them in one after the next. He made such beautiful noises. He tensed his muscles. He grabbed my legs for support and comfort. He cried. I love when he cries. Then it was done. They were all in. I looked at him, bound and bleeding on my table. His adorable perky ass cheeks were framed beautifully by the ropes. I started spanking him.
He was caught completely by surprise. Unprepared for this new and different pain. It was magnified by the pain of the needles in his back every time his body tensed. I spanked and cropped and hit his beautiful bottom until he was breathless. Until it was bright red. He was crying again in great heaving gasps. I stopped and rubbed his lower back and arms as he reached for me, craving the touch of my skin as much as he could get. I comforted him with pets and skin while he cried.
Then it was time to pull out the needles. I was kind with a few of them, pulling them straight out singly. But it’s not my nature to be kind during a bloodplay scene. The rest I twisted, turned, pulled them out in pairs and groups. He screamed. It’s probably worse than when they are going in. Just when it seems like the pain will be over, it isn’t. But then they were all out. All gone. And he lay bleeding and sobbing on the table. I untied his hands and climbed up on the table so I could hold him gently. I love to hold him as he cries in my embrace. I love how he suffers so beautifully. I love how he trusts me enough to give his body to my ministrations fearlessly.
Posted in blood, bondage, D/s, kink, love, my life, play, the wild thing, trust
Tagged bdsm, blood, bondage, D/s, kink, love, my life, play, rope, S/m, the wild thing, trust